I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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