and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
