I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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