since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
