You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I deserve this hangover.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
