Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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