ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
