Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Duck Duck Cougar?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize