I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
