i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
