Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
