Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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