almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize