My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
