if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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