you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
