somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
