I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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