Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
