I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
