Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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