I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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