there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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