Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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