im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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