Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
