Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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