We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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