Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
