I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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