He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
