I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
