i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need a burrito and a hug.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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