wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
