We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
