Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
