the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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