did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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