vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My dick has a subreddit
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize