is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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