somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
