Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
