Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
