forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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