Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so let's talk penis.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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