We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize