Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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