he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
