I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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