apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
