My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
