My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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