Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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