Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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