I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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