just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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