If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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