I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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