My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
