And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
