ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
