Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
