Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
