this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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