you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
