you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
