I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize