do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
