Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
