We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
