and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
