ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
