i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
