She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So many bounce houses so little time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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