Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
