oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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