Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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