I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
