I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
its liver damage thursday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
