I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
