i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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