Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
